Fears of failure, mistrust, lack of confidence, of not being good enough, they all come hunting you when least expected, as soon as you have the courage to start something new. Reactive behaviors surfacing to cover these fears can keep you away for really pushing a button and daring to do something else. To tell yourself something else. And to influence a different outcome.
We all come with a luggage, we all sit in the present with a baggage of emotions, fears, reactions and a certain default way of doing things. Starting with our childhood experiences, we accumulate life happenings, impressions, emotions, we create a world of our own through some unique glasses made of our personality and who we are. Our luggage is our own only, and it’s a mirror of how we see the world, the people, the interactions, the way things happen, and most of all, the “why”. Each one of us has a unique way of understanding the why behind people’s behaviors and the world’s happenings.
Once we reach a certain age, we don’t change anymore. The way we are wired and structured will never change anymore. The fears will stay. The way we react will be the same. No matter how much we educate ourselves based on society’s norms and values when in a crisis situation, we’ll go back to who we really are. That’s why when when fighting with a dear one, we end up being honest, being really ourselves. That’s who we really are, a package of should’s and have happened, seen through our own glasses and taken in and interpreted in a way it made sense for who we were at that moment’s perspective.
We need to learn to live with ourselves. To understand who we are, maybe why we are like this, what stinks in our past and present, and accept it. It’s who we are. With the good and the less pink. We come with a luggage. But a luggage full of experiences, of color and courage. Because despite it all, we made it to here. We are the winners, we grew out of all the challenges life put us through. And once we know who we really are, our core, our fears, our demons and triggers, we can really live. We can build, tell ourselves different things, start doing something else so that we take control over our life. Learn to live with our fears, acknowledging them as our life companions. Turn them from ghosts of the past visiting you anytime they want, into buddies of your present self. Buddies you can meet and talk to only when you want to. And dismiss when you want to meet someone else or be alone.